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June 17 磨合我想你是很难为我而改变的了，
也很难做到当初的自己了，
原来对一个人好一两个月容易，
时间久了就不会那么用心了，
磨合真的很难，
考验不是谁都可以通过的，
而我，
也渐渐感觉到你的退缩和放弃了，
你做不到我想要的，简单的，用心的，
做不到，一切都没有意思了。
June 16 once again满心的激动和欢喜总是被摧残的粉碎，
每一次都要吵，
你有没有考虑过我的感受，
心真的好难受，
我越来越看出来其实我在你心中究竟有多重要，
爱情，将来，都是种累积，
还要我提醒多少遍，
那么辛苦的期盼，
得来的却是痛心，
你总说让我为你考虑，
而你又有哪一次去真正明白我需要什么，
未来，好空虚，好渺茫，
我感觉我失去了我自己，
在你的生命中一步步后退，
拔去了刺的刺猬还可以生存多久？
一直没好过一直没好过，
好辛苦，
心情就如湖水，
一颗小石子就可以激起层层浪，
是我小女人，
还是你的处理不当，
从来只知道责怪我的不理解，
男人永远无法理解女人，
至少你还不能。
March 25 im saying fine while im cryingYou just cant totally understand me, you dont know what i want, what i expect, what i care about the most, that i think...u know nothing about.
That's really sad. 20days to goSuffering...
20 days left...
And i never see my honey is that stressful, he has so much pressure on himself right now and it can easily makes him freak out.
Poor you, but I really understand you although you said you hope i go back to Shanghai right now- to not to bother you, to stay away from you as far as possible, to leave you alone. Those saying really hurt me; you even admitted when i asked you once again. That's OK, that just happened when you under this f**king situation.
Maybe i should give you some time, to recall this when you get everything done, to rethink it when I leave here, or, if possible, to let you regret what you did to me.
I am not perfect, of course, but why I am such a trouble in your eye. I just wanna my decision to make both of us happy together.
We both have the mission of changing each other, and that's the most difficult part in relationship. I know if we cant make it smoothly solved, we will be over-what we thought before, what we planed before, what we expected before-everything's gonna be gone.
I am not mad at all, I just wanna to make sure that we have a clear mind even we are under lots of pressure.
Finally, I wanna say I love you, and if I am mad or I wanna beat you up, it's because I love you too much. March 19 out of service rangeI just hate people whoever i care but turn off the cellphones without any notice and guilty...
I strongly feel no security when I cant find, get any info from whoever i care about. If you also care about me, if you also don't wanna have this feeling, plz, plz don't do this to me, no matter what happen. I feel sad at this moment, when I cant reach whoever I care the most. Im not blaming, I just can do nothing abt it...but crying...cant help... March 03 screwedscrewed...in MT...
u cant blame me, coz when im upset and down, u r not beside me,
there's nothing wrong with you,
coz everything's not perfect. February 12 endless sufferingthe situation is even worse
just stop arguing
there's no winner but only losers
don't push me so hard
i'd better shut up and leave
and leave u alone
let u feel the life without me
if that's all u want
let it go
January 28 电子厄运爸爸远洋带来的苹果mp3在用了10天都不到的日子里死去了，怎么按都是黑色，是从昨天晚上开始发作的。
用了2年不到的FutureShop买的Toshiba电脑最近也反抗，频频出现屏幕黑色。
所有电子设备都在作怪，真是气死人了，心里很不舒服啊。 November 13 一觉醒来一觉醒来，我还是我，一切都没有改变，一切保持现状。
最近做梦很多，很杂，什么都有，感觉好真实，好像成为了生活的一部分。
“你要离开，我知道很简单，你说依赖是我们的阻碍，就算放开，但能不能别没收我的爱，当作我最后才明白”Jay的新歌《彩虹》，很经典。
昨天9点半就睡着了，这么久的睡眠是我透支了这个星期所有的睡觉时间，应该是get ready to stay up every night。
我同样也没有时间，我同样也很大压力，我同样也有脾气，可不可以互相谅解，可不可以互相包容，可不可以不要为一字一句而破坏心情，影响其他方面。
我们都很累，累到不愿再去解释什么了。 October 27 噩梦闷闷不乐，
早上8点。
昨天睡得很不好，应该是这段时间里面最差的睡眠了，导致闹钟一响我就迫不及待地起床了，噩梦，让我直到现在都不开心。
我之前都会做些sweet,sweet de dream ya 5555555555555
October 12 stress out好像我是个喜欢逃避的人，
困难来袭，
我就找寻一个角落，
有时候我也很想告诉你我在想什么，
可是为什么就是那么难，
很难表达自己的意思，
很累很烦，
那时候，
就好想有一个的紧紧地hug,温柔的kiss,
我会说我为你而勇敢，
越来越觉得我们没有时间，
总是想有你在身边，
明明知道无能为力，
小小的希望变成大大的失望，
试着让心情平复，
努力地去完成所有的任务来争取时间，
可是为什么总会心不在焉，
晕晕的，
需要你的肩膀，
知道不可以一直依赖你，
我需要会学着一个人坚强。
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